please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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