This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
