just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
