They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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