Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
