seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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