She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
