There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
