i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize