He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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