do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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