Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize