I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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