I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize