You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
