You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
