his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
