so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
