I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
