Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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