Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
