stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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