i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
