Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
