youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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