I just saw a hot homeless man
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
