We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
