i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
