She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
