Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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