I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
