you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
