it was like his penis was on wheels.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
