HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
