she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
