so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
dude. I can hear the air.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
