So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
