the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
