I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
