Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
