Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
