plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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