There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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