how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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