yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
