So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
