I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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