I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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