idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
