i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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