She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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