Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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