how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
