sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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