Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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