So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
