that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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