she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
