Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
