he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
