Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the condom got lost in my hair
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
