100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
