its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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