Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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